You are Divorced! Divorced! Divorced!
These
have become the most dreaded three words that any Muslim woman can hear
in her lifetime, for they signify not only the end of her marriage, but
a hard and difficult road ahead where she has to re-build her entire
life when the only foundation she has spent years building has just
fallen away.
Can it really be so simple? Can years of building, sharing and loving be shattered beyond repair by the mere utterance of words?
Is
it that God's system which rules our lives and the universe fails us at
this moment we need it most and leave a wife without a marriage and
leaves children without a family?
Surely this cannot be the way of the Quran from which only happiness and justice can be wrought?
Let us take a look together and examine this important, yet ignored topic from God's divine inspiration, The Quran.
DIVORCE PROCEDURES
“And
the divorced women shall hold themselves for three menstruation
periods; and it is not lawful for them to conceal what God has created
in their wombs, if they believe in God and the Last Day. And their
husbands would then have just cause to return together, if they both
wish to reconcile. And for what obligations the women are owed, so
similarly must they fulfil their obligations. But the men will have a
greater responsibility over them in this. And God is Noble, Wise.”
(Quran 2:228)
“The
divorce is allowed twice. So, either they reconcile equitably, or they
part-ways with kindness. And it is not lawful for you to take back
anything you have given the women unless you fear that they will not
uphold God’s limits. So if you fear that they will not uphold God’s
limits, then there is no sin upon them for what is given back. These are
God’s limits so do not transgress them. And whoever shall transgress
God’s limits, then these are the wicked.” (Quran 2:229)
“So
if he still divorces her again, then she will not be lawful for him
until she has married another husband. If the other husband divorces
her, then there is no sin that they come back together if they think
they will uphold God’s limits. These are God’s limits, He clarifies them
for a people that know.” (Quran 2:230)
“And
if you have divorced the women, and they have reached their required
interim period, then either you reconcile with them equitably, or
part-ways equitably. And do not reconcile with them so you can harm them
out of animosity; whoever does so is doing wickedness to his soul; and
do not take God’s revelations lightly. And remember God’s blessings
towards you, and what was sent down to you of the Scripture and the
wisdom, He warns you with it. And be aware of God and know that God is
Knowledgeable in all things.” (Quran 2:231)
“And
if you divorce the women, and they have reached their required interim
period, then do not prevent them from remarrying their husbands if they
amicably agree amongst themselves out of what is best. This is to remind
any of you who believe in God and the Last Day, this is better for you
and purer; and God knows while you do not know.” (Quran 2:232)
“O
you who believe, if you marry the believing women, then divorced them
before having intercourse with them, then there is no interim required
of them. You shall compensate them, and let them go in an amicable
manner.” (Quran 33:49)
“O
you prophet, if any of you have divorced the women, then they should be
divorced while ensuring that their required interim is fulfilled, and
keep count of the interim. You shall reverence God your Lord, and do not
evict the women from their homes, nor should they leave, unless they
have committed a proven adultery. And these are God's limits. And anyone
who transgresses God's limits has wronged his soul. You never know;
perhaps God will make something come out of this.” (Quran 65:1)
“Then,
once the interim is fulfilled, either you reconcile with them
equitably, or part-ways equitably and have it witnessed by two just
people from among you; and give the testimony for God. This is to
enlighten those who believe in God and the Last Day. And whosoever
reverences God, He will create a solution for him.” (Quran 65:2)
“And
He will provide for him whence he never expected. Anyone who puts his
trust in God, then He suffices him. God's commands will be done. God has
decreed for everything its fate.” (Quran 65:3)
“As
for the women who have reached menopause, if you have any doubts, their
interim shall be three months. And as for those whose menstruation has
ceased, and those who are already pregnant, their interim is until they
give birth. And anyone who reverences God, He makes his matters easy for
him.” (Quran 65:4)
“This
is God's command that He sends down to you. And anyone who is aware of
God, He remits his sins, and will improve his reward.” (Quran 65:5)
“You
shall let them reside in the home you were in when you were together,
and do not coerce them to make them leave. And if they are pregnant, you
shall spend on them until they give birth. Then, if they nurse the
infant, you shall pay them their due for such. And you shall maintain
the amicable relations between you. If you disagree, then another woman
may nurse the child.” (Quran 65:6)
A SUMMARY OF THE RULES FOR DIVORCE:
If
the couple insist on divorce, then the wife and husband are to remain
together in the same home until the ‘interim-period’ is complete (Quran
65:1)
If the couple reconcile, then divorce may be retracted and cancelled at any point during the interim period. (Quran 2:229)
The
divorce is automatically retracted if sexual intercourse takes place
between the husband and wife during the interim period. (Quran 65:1)
The
interim period required is three menstruation periods. The interim for
women who no longer menstruate is three months. The interim for pregnant
women is until they deliver (Quran 2:228, 65:4)
There
is no interim period required if the divorce takes place while no
sexual intercourse has ever taken place between the couple. (Quran
33:49)
If
the couple still wishes to follow through with the divorce after the
end of the interim period, then two witnesses are required to complete
the process. (Quran 65:2)
If
this is the 3rd divorce, then the couple may not remarry each other
unless the woman has been married to another man and then divorced.
(Quran 2:230)
FINAL RULE (DO NOT PLAY WITH GOD'S SYSTEM):
"And
if you divorce the women, once they fulfill their interim, you must
reconcile with them equitably, or go through with the separation
equitably. DO NOT reconcile with them to hurt them. And whosoever does
this has wronged himself. DO NOT take GOD's revelations in vain.
Remember GOD's blessings upon you, and that He sent down to you the
scripture and wisdom to enlighten you. You shall observe GOD, and know
that GOD is aware of all things." (2/231)
TIPS FROM THE QURAN:
In
helping a couple to stay together to promote strong family bonds, the
Quran gives a few suggestions for those who wish to take heed.
Tip# 1 (Anticipate Events):
"If
a woman fears separation or desertion from her husband, the couple
shall try to reconcile their differences, for conciliation is best for
them. Selfishness is a human trait, and if you do good and lead a
righteous life, GOD is fully Cognizant of everything you do." (4/128)
A
couple must do what is in their power to stop problems from getting out
of hand. To do this there must be sacrifice and a lack of selfishness
on behalf of both parties.
Tip# 2 (Try Various Methods BEFORE Divorce):
"The
men are made responsible for the women by what GOD has preferred them
over each other and for what they have spent of their monies. The
righteous women will accept this arrangement, since it is GOD's
commandment, and honor their husbands during their absence. And for
those whom you fear separation, you shall: 1) try and talk to them, 2)
abstain from the bed room, 3) separate from them. If they obey you, you
are not permitted to transgress against them. GOD is Most High,
Supreme." (4/34)
Tip # 3 (Involve the Family):
"If
you still fear a separation between them, you shall appoint an
arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family; if they
wish to reconcile, GOD will help them. GOD is Omniscient, Cognizant."
(4/35)
Tip # 4 (Do NOT Let People Give You Bad Advice):
"And
if you divorce the women, once they fulfill their interim, do not
advise them against remarrying their husbands if they have reconciled
amicably. This shall be heeded by those among you who believe in GOD and
the Last Day. This is purer for you, and more righteous. GOD knows,
while you do not know." (2/232)
How
many a home have been destroyed and a family separated because people
decided to ignore GOD's perfect system and let the words of men,
scholars, and other innovators divert them from the only true path.
Stay with GOD, for that is where happiness lies.
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